[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 3.1.10

[JERRY LANE]

Nebadonia--March 1, 2010

 

Marin T/M Group--Mill Valley, California--U.S.A.

 

NEBADONIA--T/R-JL

 

(Meditation and prayer) 

(Unconscious identification and habits)

(Endlessly creating a new life)

(Regaining your feelings)  

(Struggling to pay attention)  

(The great challenge)  

 

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael,    Greetings and salutations.  We are following your advice and trying not to bring any expectations to these sessions but just approach them with general enthusiasm.  They've been for us a good meditation where we can deliberately point ourselves at something we can't anticipate.  You've been suggesting this as a good kind of meditation--just to sit in stillness and open our hearts and our minds to experience whatever arises.  These Teaching Mission sessions are good practice for that, part of their value being that we can't really anticipate what the two of you have for us.  We know deep within ourselves this is one hallmark of their genuineness. 

 

You are literally teaching us how to follow along on something that is other than ourselves, so say on, dear parents.  You provide an answer to that old poem of: What a gift God could give us--to see ourselves as others see us.  With the two of you we get the viewpoint of two illimitable spiritual beings, Creator Son and Daughter of the Paradise Trinity.  For this we thank you very much.  Amen.

 

NEBADONIA:  Good evening, my sons, this is Nebadonia, your Mother Spirit.  We're happy you find our lessons here similar to the meditations of your hearts.  The complement is also true.  You can find in your meditations and in your prayers the same kind of opening--approaching the creative present moment, the here and now, with freshness and enthusiasm.

 

(Meditation and prayer) 

 

Meditation literally is taking time out of your other activities to be as still as you can let yourself be and open yourself to whatever may come.  That's very true.  That's the real purpose of it.  How, aside from these sessions we have, how can you escape the prison of self that Michael mentioned?  How can you enter into an activity to get beyond your own expectations?  Especially, if you spend much time within your own controlled situation, how do you get beyond your own projections, your own constant shaping of the reality you are in?  Exactly how do you open your heart and open your mind to bring about a higher state of consciousness?

 

You relax into it like coming home, home to here and now.  As the thoughts arise you relax into letting them be, into not reacting with them but letting them be free.  Take notes if you want to keep them for later consideration.  You relax the future, your plans and intentions and expectations, right back to now.  You relax the past and the persistent deep concerns of your life.  You feel your breathing: this is now, your living now.  You're paying the ultimate price: you're paying pure attention.

 

This may seem repetitious and boring for a while, still stuck in your overly-familiar self, but if you stick with it and learn this ability to not-react, you can feel a kind of wonderful, further dropping away of all the concerns and all the busyness, a loosening of the habitual cramps of worry and anxiety.  A very precious, very special--you might even say--added consciousness emerges of positively existing, being this living, universal human-type being, yet uniquely you this unique moment of never before and never again.  It's not a blank consciousness; you are experiencing a different level of thought and realization.  Trying to hold your mind still is definitely the wrong way to go.  That would not be a relaxation but a self-originated intention for a specific effect.  Whereas feeling yourself breathing is a way of having the mind and creative spirit of your personality stay in touch with an enduring physical reality, a living material reality that obeys universal chemical and physical law; in other words, your body. 

 

For those of you who are out of touch with the physical part of your being, this physically-inclusive meditation might seem in prospect, in expectation, totally pointless.  You assume, in your disregard of your physical self, there's nothing there to learn, nothing there to pay attention to if it is still.  Your body either does what you want it to, or it can't.  You might be working with it in ways of increasing your health and strength, as well as using it in your work and in your play.  But highly conscious stillness is irreducibly different.  Paying attention to your whole self by continuously relaxing your intentions in a kind of marvelous curiosity about, and wonder at, this present moment with you in it: this is the way you experience your heart and your mind opening--by deliberately, if you will, exercising your will power.  This meditation is one of continually choosing to pay attention and appreciate the living mystery that you, and your world, and this present moment, are--a bottomless gift of God's.

 

The detachment you get from this attention actually increases your awareness of something that is usually unconscious.  This may seem to be a contradiction until you actually experience it, but detachment from your physical self by paying attention to it and not just unconsciously identifying with it, actually brings it more into your life.  Through this detachment your body and its health becomes more and more an object of consciousness and a part of the objective reality of you, my children, that you really need to cherish and learn. 

 

When you get up from your meditations, take a minute or two to walk around slowly and wonder, what is this new state of mind that you've just earned?  What is this detachment--looking around the room with new eyes?  Your overly-familiar surroundings can have an aura of newness about them to the point of being downright curious: good.  You're becoming aware of--by seeing through-- your unconscious projections.  What could be more valuable than being able to reassess what of your life that has become, shall we say, too familiar and deadening?   You have a saying that familiarity breeds contempt--which might be overstating it a bit--but definitely familiarity leads to unconscious identification, and to break that, to be able to perceive the part of your life, your whole reality, that is ever new, you have to give up clinging--by identifying so unconsciously--to the past, to whom you've been and its reassuring but misleading familiarity.  In your meditation let go, for a while, all you've been, and just be: the past is all still there in your soul, co-authored by a presence of God. 

 

This is what you need, my children, in order to begin to access what you are always creatively/subjectively doing anyway.  This gives you some choice as to whether or not to continue.  This awareness/realization becomes the basis for willfully addressing what we've been talking about these last few lessons, your overall health--body, mind, and spirit.

 

(Unconscious identification and habits)

 

Your most unconscious identifications, the habits that make you feel comfortable and secure, are most in need of constant reappraisal, yet the only way you can do this is by becoming more secure in some other new way.  A bad habit is like an anchor that you cling to for reassurance and comfort, but is also pulling you down, drowning you, ruining your health.  But to let go, to let go the unconscious identification that makes you feel immediately good, to let that short-term assurance go for some long-term health; you have to have something more solid and enduring in your life.  This is where meditation and prayer come in.  You choose to do these.  You exercise your willpower in a constant choice to open yourself to creative spirit--both your own, and Other, greater spirit.

 

Break the unconscious habituation.  As Michael said, entertain with your whole heart all that your imagination can come up with as an ideal way to live, even if you can't do it.  Have the courage to ask yourself and answer yourself honestly: What should I be doing?  Exercise the morality your personality is capable of.  Entertain it.  Then try to be this honest with yourself each and every time you indulge an unhealthy habit.  Just make it conscious.  Whatever you've been doing; just bring it into consciousness.  Entertain the thought each and every time: I know I shouldn't be doing this--for my health--but I'm choosing to do it this time.  Every time make it a conscious choice.  This is how you break unconscious habituation.  You develop and bring some will power into the question you are allowing. 

 

And so we suggest, my dear ones, when it becomes time to break those habits, this is where your spirit, your creative will power comes into play.  You literally create your way forward.  You get more control of your life.  You come up with the better alternative.  You have some choice of something better to replace what you want to get rid of.  Pure negativity just won't do: it's the worst habit of all.   

 

Now consider that your very success is going to leave you with a lot of time on your hands.  What are you going to do with good time now?  What more full life can you envision?  What are you going to do with all this good health, all this energy?  This is quite a challenge.  In the developed countries many folks spend a lot of money for help in getting over the bad habits that are ruining their health: and this is good insofar as these programs work.  This is a good value for the money, especially considering how pricey bad health is in terms of not only money but a shrunken life. 

 

Whenever the question of indulgence comes up, this is an occasion for a little mini-meditation first, even if only for a few minutes of sitting down and tuning in to your strengthening spiritual base, your home base in that unique moment.  Habits are self-generating impulses established in the past, from times other than the unique, ever-changing now.  To refuse the impulse by replacing it with something better: this is a choice.  Replace it with will power and your faith in God's gift to you of your own creativity--allied with His presence within you.  Together with Him, and with Michael and me beside and within you, you will create a better life beyond what you can foresee now.  But for now: relax into spirit; choose in highest consciousness; and watch what happens.  As Michael said, after you hold out for a day or two, or three, and some of the physical craving starts to fade, you find something new beginning.  Lean into it.  Give this new life struggling to come about a chance.     

 

Yes, there may be some sadness in the choice.  You are giving up something.   When you break the unconscious, knee-jerk quality of indulgence by making individual choices each and every time, the fun of just being bad--(Mother Spirit laughs)--does fade in sober reflection.  Let it go.  Have faith there's so much more fun in you just waiting the chance to blossom in the strength and spontaneity of expanding health--and freedom.  For a human being, for all practical purposes, freedom is the experiencing of choice--intrinsically joyous.

 

(Endlessly creating a new life)

 

Having faith in your own creativity, this new life will come about.  Your will power grows with usage.  Little bit by little bit you break free.  Identifying consciously with your present, living self, you keep coming up with something better.  The choice is ever new and changing as you and your situation change.  You are a spiritual being.  You are a creative being.  Give yourself half a chance and you will come up with something better, something new.  At first just the idea of giving up an old, familiar habit can be overwhelming.  But the new life is worth fighting for.

 

So be of good cheer, my dear ones.  Know that thousands and thousands have gone through the same thing facing you, and that good health is always not only what you do for yourself, but also what you do for all the others you love, and those who love you so much.  Every good example you are able to achieve helps others.  So be not shy in helping others along the same path you've struggled through for freedom yourself.  We're with you every step of the way.  Don't forget to say hello to Michael and me.  Never hesitate to ask for our help.  Open your heart and open your mind to the presence of God within you, to give you those good ideas when you are ready to hear and heed them.  On the other side of every tight spot you might have to go through, things do open up.  There is a new tomorrow in prospect--forever.  That's just a fact.  

 

If you have any questions or comments, let's get to them.

 

Student:  So, Mother, I've been wondering: how can I get out from under all those things that hold me back, that I've buried all my life?  I can't really feel them any more, but I do know they stop me--a number of things.

 

(Regaining your feelings)  

 

NEBADONIA:  Yes, my son, that's a tough question!--(Mother Spirit laughs)--only because some things are best left behind.  You have that strange expression: let the dead bury the dead.  It means that after a period of grief you can move on.  As I taught this evening, you let the past be past by no longer identifying with it.  You identify with your present, more mature self and the spiritual soul you've grown because of all you've experienced.  You gain trust in yourself by making choices, and this gives you the confidence to let whatever is buried arise into consciousness where you can feel it.  

 

What is this "holding you back"--what is this "holding?"   How does that work?  Is it a fear, a timidity?  Does it lead back to a specific event in your life?  Reflecting consciously on an event in the past is opening the buried nature of it.  You now have it understood: it no longer has you--at least not so much.  This is literally tapping into your soul and getting the spiritual, all-inclusive aspect of an event.  It helps you realize the more advanced, more soulful and spiritual person you have become.  

 

Your hope is in being able to forgive yourself.  Totally forgive yourself  by accepting all the various people you've been all your life, for they are different.  Each moment in time is unique, including you.  True, the moments of your life are on an unbroken chain, an unbroken continuity of personality that has lead to who you are now.  You are, in part, who you are because of them.  But you are also a potentially free-willed being who can choose how he takes things.  

 

So be unafraid to let these things come up: they're part of your soul.  Be willing to feel any pain associated with them.  As you say, maybe, through fear of that pain, you can't feel them quite yet, but trying to be open is a good orientation, like developing your own spirit of truth along with Michael's.  What is the truth, the spiritual, comprehensive truth, of regret--both in those things you wish you hadn't done, and in those things you wish you had, but didn't?  You see the courage it takes to face these and forgive yourself by way of the new understanding this spiritual reflection offers.  It's the true meaning of catharsis, of reliving--soulfully, meditatively--those things that are holding you back.  Your courage in facing everything you've done, with acceptance and forgiveness, does let your soul come forth; and it's enormous.  You've gotta love all the people you've been!  (Mother Spirit laughs)  Without "them" this particular, unique you wouldn't be here.    

 

To use an old expression: Yes!--the candle is worth the game; life is worth what it costs.  So don't lose sight of that everlasting light that illuminates your creative spirit in the here-and-now and addresses an eternal question: what do you want to do?  Let your imagination go.  It's not only the past you are engaged in, it is also the future--that better future.  It is possible to spend too much time in the past and rob yourself of living.  What would you do if you were not being "held back?"  Think of the freedom you do have.  

 

This is where you stand, my son, in an eternal present.  It will always be this way.  You will have a past that is, in part, an exploration to you to relive; a soul to encompass.  You will always have a future, a whole eternity, to fill.  There will always be time to start something new.  

 

Now does that help, or does that make it worse?  (Mother Spirit laughs)

 

Student:  It does indeed help.  One of the more immediate problems is I have a difficult time paying attention.  My mind wanders and puts all kinds of things in the way; then I come back, and then go away again.  It's very frustrating.  Fortunately there's the transcripts I can look at.

 

(Struggling to pay attention)  

 

NEBADONIA:  I recall you've also mentioned, my son, you have difficulty in finding the will, or maybe the use in meditating, and that too can be frustrating.  You try what you think it should be, but your mind still seems to wander.  Yet you are paying attention.  And that's it.  Your struggle to pay attention is the right way to go--always.  Keep that orientation; stay with it.  Don't give up on this critical thing that connects you with whatever's happening.  

 

As you hear my voice, just relax and let it affect you.  You have been.  We've been on a journey of shared consciousness.  You've been feeling things you couldn't before, even if--as you say--they get in the way.  So don't worry if I seem to come and go.  You're doing your best, my son, and that's all you can ask of yourself.  Fell free to explore these parts of your past you say are holding you back, and do your best to wonder: what are they holding you back from doing?  That is a great challenge for a human being, or an angel, or any other order of personal being: what do you want to do?  This is the way you create yourself forward day by day.

 

Student:  What I want to do is be the best child of the heavenly Father that I can be at any particular time.  But I get diverted from that at times.  But it's a relief to know I'm doing better at paying attention.  The struggle seems to be the point.  I am going through two twelve-step programs that are taking up time but are giving me a great deal of freedom--Alcoholics Anonymous and Food-Addict Anonymous.  Both give me a freedom from addictions I didn't think I would ever overcome.  I am staying sober, and I have lost a lot of weight.

 

NEBADONIA:  So now you face the challenge of freedom.  (They both laugh)  In this you are not alone.  It's universal with people who have gained a bit of time of their own apart from necessity.  The drive for freedom is universal, yet in each individual's life the challenge can be daunting.  God has put so much into your own hands.  

 

Student:  I feel like I've just been hugged.  (And they both laugh again)  Thank you, Mother.

 

NEBADONIA:  Don't forget, my son, you are living your life not only for yourself but for Him, and for us.  (Yes)  And so we tease you to use that creativity He gave you, and come up with those things that give you that hug, that feedback, that sense of being involved.  We do appreciate so greatly the help you give in transcribing these transmissions.  

 

Student:  My pleasure, Mother; my privilege.

 

NEBADONIA:  We know.  It's the love you give us.  You make our voice possible for all your brothers and sisters who might care to read these some day.  Continue to be in my love.  Know that your human condition, even in your very particular case, is also nigh universal.

 

(The great challenge)  

 

This is the great challenge, the ironic challenge for those who feel so bereft of freedom, so bound in on all sides by someone or something else; who can't see the degree to which they are holding themselves back with their own fearful, unconscious projections.  To break these unconscious habits and really entertain the notion of freedom being a matter of a growing willingness to choose, ever more and more: that does stretch your imaginations.  Let it arouse your curiosity.  There's something in you that can perk up and come up with something to use, something to enjoy in all the time to come.

 

It's part of your internal situation, my children: you always start here and now.  This is the nature of choice, the nature of being a creature of free-will dignity.  It all takes place now.  You can always start, over and over again, now.  It's one of the most wonderful gifts God could give you: an unbounded future.  Good evening, and remain in my love.   

 

 

 

                                  

 

                               

 

  

 

                  
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