[tmtranscripts] Nebadonia 1.16.06

[JERRY LANE]

Dear Folks,    Sorry for the delay in transcribing and editing.  Enjoy!  
Jerry.

Nebadonia—January 16, 2006

Marin T/M Group—Mill Valley, California—U. S. A.

NEBADONIA—T/R-JL

(Truth and reality)
(Truth and knowledge)
(Truth and freedom)
(Visualization)
(Truth and human reality)
(Truth and self-questioning)

Dear Mother and Michael,    Tonight we want to thank You for pointing the 
way, for being our forward scouts out into this new territory of faith for 
us.  We treasure Your ability to cut right through to the spiritual heart of 
our questions, then pay us the respect of being very direct and frank with 
us.  In this You give us wonderful examples of what a true friend is.  Amen.

Good evening, My sons, this is Nebadonia.  Being your Mother Spirit, I too 
welcome the feedback you give Me, and I cherish the love in your words.  I 
have a mother’s heart that strives to be wise with My children, and I am 
glad you recognize this is, at times, what you call tough-love, which is 
after all the realization of the importance of truth.  You know that 
wonderful saying: You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you 
free.

(Truth and reality)

To your modern minds another good word for truth is reality--that which is 
real, that which actually exists.  You are all striving to be fully 
existential, and you will slowly achieve this, though it may take 
uncountable millions of years.  For in this dimension too, My children, 
there is no limit.  Even after you become pure spirits and leave our Local 
Universe to head out into your galactic adventure, still you will be just 
starting that phase of your existence. There are many, many steps to go 
before you achieve a final existential existence, and become what is 
appropriately called a Finaliter in the Paradise Corps of the Finality.

Starting out as a nodule of experience--a focal point of personality in time 
and space, in time you will finally become final: and then, of course, there 
are six more galaxies to go out and explore.  This is the nature of your 
present existence and potential.  As your Urantia book assures you, and so 
have We, you are already existential in the very fact of your existence.  In 
this one aspect you are already absolute, for your personality is a creation 
of God the Father.  And so as you strive for truth in order to be free, what 
exactly is it you are being free from?

(Truth and knowledge)

This is the qualitative difference between knowledge and truth.  Knowledge 
is a possession.  It is what you have earned and, when you think about it, 
your increasing wisdom tells you that knowledge, or facts--physical facts, 
correlated and organized in meaningful ways by your mind; all these have 
truth within a fairly small and circumscribed context.  Truth Itself is just 
the largest conceivable context, which, by definition, can never be a 
possession.  God alone possess truth because God alone, shared only with the 
other absolute members of the Trinity, is Truth; is the fullness of reality; 
is the sum total of all existence.  Yet for we subordinate beings who can 
never hope to possess truth, we can revere it as an orientation.  Whereas 
you can never have truth as you have facts, or understand meanings--and be 
relatively confident in their application extending on into the future; 
still truth can be your orientation and serve as a humbling reminder that 
there is always something more.  The context of your existence is like the 
horizon, always out there surrounding you, encompassing you.  From a 
spiritual standpoint, you can slowly achieve a near absolute confidence in 
the existence of truth, even though you cannot hold it, you cannot possess 
it.  True enough, this is, at your stage of existence, very much a matter of 
faith.  For in this sense it is inseparable from your inner convictions of 
the reality of God himself.  So it is not something you can ever prove to 
anyone else.  Neither God nor truth can be empirically demonstrated like a 
mathematical theorem, or the laws of chemistry and physics.

So how is it that you can rest, assured within yourself of your faith in the 
existence of truth?  How can you know that you are contained within it and 
that it does exist?  And I’ll ask again, what is it truth liberates you 
from?  Let Me suggest that the liberation is from the illusion that you can, 
or you have already possessed truth itself--the illusion that you are 
somehow capable of being perfectly objective, or that your knowledge and 
understanding already have no limits.

We looked at this once before in it’s social and political implications, how 
certain individuals in power, cherishing an inner illusion that they know 
what is absolutely right and correct, have all through history perpetrated 
the most obscene horrors on their fellows.  We’ve also looked at a general 
trend of maturity being a matter of ever so slowly but certainly getting the 
inner self-confidence to let go of these illusions of generalities and 
prejudices, so you can experience the truth of the infinity of every other 
personality you encounter.

(Truth and freedom)

So if this is the truth, My children, if every other personal being of 
whatever kind bears the hallmark, the stamp if you will, of God’s hand in 
their creation; if this is the truth and you are able to see it, you are 
able to experience other folks this way; what is it you are being freed 
from?  Isn’t it obvious you are being freed from the enormously 
self-limiting illusions of all your generalities, and stereotypes, and 
prejudices?  These are small, constraining contexts that some folks might 
live their life within and never touch the reality, never experience and 
possess the enormous wealth of all these other wonderful souls that are 
possible to know.

What a waste of living to have never lived, to have never truly known 
another--soul to soul.  This is why those who are not able to love and 
relinquish themselves to know another, are still living in an untransformed 
world.  They’ve never experienced how the whole world transforms once you 
share it with one other person.  You have some rather cynical expressions 
such as: Love is blind. But is it?  Or is it only that our lovers are 
momentarily bedazzled because their whole world has just changed?

Certainly now, things have to settle down after a while.  The new world view 
has to find its space within all that went before.  But what a shame to have 
never known this, to have never known the courage of letting yourself be 
even a bit of a fool, if necessary, to follow wherever love leads.  So we 
may have to amend that saying and think of it more as: You shall strive 
after the truth and towards the truth, to be free.  Then welcome the glory 
in the fact that only eternity itself can fully disclose the nature of 
truth, which is God himself.  This is another meaning of eternity, My 
children.  This is the path.  This is the forever-quest.

Meanwhile, freedom is one of those things you can know for yourself.  That 
is its nature, and this is your God-given ability, to know it.  So when you 
seek to evaluate your life, when you ask yourself, how am I doing, be sure 
to include this evaluation too.  Are you becoming more free?  Are you 
growing along this dimension?  Is your own personal reality opening wider?  
Are the people in your life emerging more and more from an amorphous 
background?  Much further down the scale, but equally possible:  Are the 
very things in your life slowly growing in value?  Are all your curious 
little personal possessions gaining soul?  This is the path I would set your 
feet upon, My children. This is the way in which Michael and I are your 
pathfinders out ahead, beckoning you to come this way.

For We assure you that everything I have told you tonight, applies to Us as 
well. We too are growing.  We too know the truth as an encompassing 
surround, the very body of God that holds Us in its loving embrace, 
reassuring Us of its absolute existence.  You can know this right here and 
now through faith.  And as being still and at peace within yourself feeds 
this faith, so too this faith enables you to be evermore at peace.  So 
cherish the truth, My sons.  At one and the same time you can strive towards 
it, and meanwhile be satisfied in your striving, to let yourself be at 
peace.  Let peace and truth soak right into your bones, into every cell.

This is also your home.  This is where your life originates.  This is that 
living, bubbling fountain suspended right out in the middle of God’s love, 
coming from His inexhaustible source.  Rest deeply in it, be refreshed.  Now 
look!  Here comes another adventure!  Here comes another creation of God for 
you that, though you cannot know it beforehand, can nevertheless help you be 
free.

Thank You, Father.  It is our delight to acknowledge that only You could 
have created life in such a way.  Amen.

If you have any questions or comments, My sons, let Me hear them.  They are 
My adventures.

Student:  Mother, what is visualization, and how do I do it--especially with 
respect with the Akashic Construct?  I would like to be involved in that, 
and heal people as well as myself, and I have no clue to what visualization 
is.

(Visualization)

NEBADONIA:  Yes, C, once again you bring Me a term that has many meanings, 
in many different contexts.  Normal waking visualization is, as we have 
looked at before, a combination of the excitation from some external stimuli 
impacting your sense organs, such as sight, which are interpreted by your 
brain and then, with the powers of your mind, given an objective-seeming 
reality which may or may not correspond to the external object.  In terms of 
consciousness, on the extreme other end of the spectrum, you have your 
dreams, some of which you’ve all experienced can seem very realistic at 
times.

Occasionally these become what you call conscious dreaming, or being aware 
right within your dream that you are dreaming.  You can even marvel at the 
fact of: I know this is a dream, yet look at how detailed, how real it 
seems.  But for most people this experience is rare, for this realization 
they are dreaming tends to either wake them up if they identify with the 
conscious part of it, or they simply loose this self-consciousness and the 
dream goes on, more or less unconsciously as usual.

Visualization as it is used in a mystical or quasi-spiritual sense is for 
some folks very similar to conscious dreaming.  In other words, with their 
eyes closed they are able to visualize within themselves to a very 
remarkable degree of reality, different aspects of their situation.  And so 
they are able to visualize spiritual beings, spiritual relationships, which, 
very much like normal waking conscious visualization, is a combination of 
both objective stimulus and subjective interpretation.

If you wish to do this, My son, I would direct your attention to many 
Oriental disciplines that specialize in how to do this, and can lead you 
stage by stage through the process.  For if it is not just naturally 
occurring to you, as it is for some folks, it is a very long and painstaking 
discipline, usually starting with simple objects that you try to imagine in 
your mind.  These you imagine in ever greater detail and then see if you 
can’t literally see them within yourself with your eyes closed.  In this 
sense visualization is like any other mental discipline that you must learn 
step by step.  But let Me also suggest that there are many other ways of 
internally realizing spiritual reality.

We talked tonight about truth and how you can know within yourself and trust 
that it exists, even though it cannot be a possession such as a much smaller 
fact or meaning.  So ask yourself, My son, how do you know anything?  How do 
you know who you are, or who some dear friend is?  How do you know how to 
get home tonight?  Or further afield, how do you know that Paris, France 
exists, or Naples, or Moscow, or Tokyo?  There is a whole branch of human 
philosophy that looks at this question: How does a human being know?

As we also looked at tonight, how can you get folks to accept the 
limitations of their knowledge so they will strive to reach beyond the 
pseudo-knowledge of generalities and stereotypes and prejudices?  Does this 
at least begin to answer your question?

Student:  Mother, it gives me a great deal to think about and look at.  I 
don’t know whether it answers the question or not.  (laughter)  I was 
thinking specifically about the CD that George Bernard has, about how to get 
involved in the Akashic Construct.  I admire people doing that, and then 
healing people, and I’d like to do the same.  But I don’t seem to be able to 
do it.

NEBADONIA :  There is certainly no harm in trying.  Any course of study like 
this has to be thoroughly embraced with your whole heart and mind and soul 
to even have a chance of succeeding.  Any attempt like this, if you are 
doing it highly consciously and for spiritual reasons, cannot help but give 
you some self-knowledge of all the steps you have to go through to be 
successful.

But as with any other art, My son, any other creative act, there are 
different temperaments among human beings.  For example, some great 
musicians or visual artists—painters and sculptures—when asked to express 
verbally what they are doing, are completely inarticulate, just as some 
writers would be lost trying to do more than a doodle in terms of art.  It 
can’t hurt you to try a specific technique, but don’t feel this is the only 
way you can help others heal themselves.  This is not the only way to 
contribute to another’s health, another’s ability to free themselves by 
accepting an ever larger truth of their life.  This is the spiritual 
friendship you can always offer another right here and now, as you are 
today.  And this can be done by following your heart.  Trust the compassion 
that desires you have this greater healing power.  Trust this compassion to 
show you your own--C’s unique way of healing.  Then pray for the nerve to 
give it a try.  Michael and I, and the rest of your celestial family, are 
always right by your side whenever you strive to help another person toward 
greater life.  Simply let Our love flow through you.  But by all means, try 
some new techniques.  Welcome the self-discovery process this puts you 
through.  And always: Physician, heal thyself.  (laughter)

Student:  Thank You , Mother.  This last part has meant a great deal and is 
very understandable.  Thank You once more for being by my side.

NEBADONIA:  You are very welcome, My son.  I appreciate the good work you 
strive to do in, and with, My presence.  So be in My love.

Student:  Yes, Mother.  I have numerous things I’d love to discuss, but 
firstly, I was wondering what was—because I’m sure You give this great 
thought before You address us, and usually one hundred percent of what You 
say to us is significant when we are in Your presence—so I was wondering 
what was the deeper meaning?  Why was this topic, this idea tonight?

NEBADONIA:  My son, you gave Me the compliment in your prayer this evening 
of being your pathfinder, and pointing the way.  This inspired Me to point 
out the largest context I could express to you—the whole concept of truth, 
and how it is possible to strive towards it, and the spiritual benefits of 
doing so.

Student:  Is it not—truth, that is—already established within us; to be, in 
a sense, uncovered from our own misunderstandings and fallacies of who we 
think we are, and what we identify with—our own illusions?

NEBADONIA:  No.  (laughter)

Student:  But then how do we exist?

(Truth and human reality)

NEBADONIA:  You exist because your consciousness is put into a transcendent 
vehicle.  This vehicle has been all mankind’s study, yet even though you 
have libraries of literally millions of books on topics of just, shall we 
say, just your physical being, let alone the mental and spiritual dimensions 
of being human, this remains still a transcendent encompassing that supports 
your consciousness, without which your personality cannot yet experience, or 
constantly strive to learn more.

As you just realized, starting out at any moment in time to strive for a 
greater maturity, you are freeing yourself from the immature limitations of 
your previous concepts and understandings.  This is how you grow.  But in no 
way do you already possess truth.  Truth is what surrounds you.  Truth is 
the God-reality in which you are living.  So when you ask, do you not 
already have truth, in saying no I was referring to your consciousness--what 
you can consciously know, and recall, and use from your memory of your past 
experiences.  But even in this, you will recall, We have given many lessons 
on how to find an ever greater truth in your own past experiences.  Because 
you do exist here and now, the past itself is a territory for exploration 
and discovery.  Does this help clarify the situation?

Student:  Yes, I guess.  It may be something beyond words.  I understand 
that truth cannot be possessed, but what I meant about what is already 
established, is that it’s universal, it’s cosmic, it’s already here, and 
it’s up to us to tune into it—to live it.

NEBADONIA:  Yes, this is true.  It really is God.  God is truth.  God is 
absolute, and infinite, a fully existential Being such as you can only grow 
towards.  But starting out as you are, somewhat like a tadpole, 
(laughter—this is an old joke and tease between D and Michael and Mother 
Spirit) you are still 99.9999 percent experiential, My son.  Only the fact 
of your existence is absolute.  As you know there are many, many poor souls 
who are in such a state of mind day to day, they suffer enormously, 
unbelievably, in doubting their own existence.  They can be so deranged this 
way they cannot support their existence, but must be compassionately 
institutionalized.  This is why We say your true home is on the edge of the 
unknown, because God and His total creation are beyond the comprehension of 
any sub-absolute being.  In this sense God is only fully known by His other 
absolute associates, the Eternal Son, and the Infinite Spirit.
The only way sub-absolute beings can know Him is through faith.  In this you 
can all be faith-sons of the living God now, as you slowly, over eons and 
eons of time, augment your own existential quotient of being.

(Truth and self-questioning)

Let Me add one further thing along these lines.  There is a great difference 
between self-doubt and self-questioning.  I’ve tried to point out tonight 
there is a way you can validly and self-honestly still your doubts as to 
your existence, and the existence of truth, and God, and thereby gain the 
self confidence, the inner self-assurance that allows you, then, to question 
everything you know and believe, in your striving for ever greater truth.  
(a long, puzzled hmmm…followed)

I think you  know, My son, much of what I say is meant for study.  I don’t 
expect you to comprehend it instantaneously.  (laughter)

Student:  I do question my abilities, and why I do—why I believe certain 
things, especially when they no longer seem to work for me.  Or why did I 
believe in them in the first place?  Because of something I’ve been told 
since I’ve been going to school, or living in society?  But truth is 
something that is more universal, more—it doesn’t change.  It evolves, but 
doesn’t change.  There’s a depth to it.  And as You said, there’s a freedom 
to it.  Sometimes, and we’re seeing this in our world today, beliefs can be 
so binding.  Our traditions can be so binding.  And there’s no freedom to 
them.

NEBADONIA:  Well, you’ve just expressed another reason I bring these things 
up.  To a degree you are identifying with truth.  Truth does not evolve: you 
evolve.  Truth is absolute insofar as God is truth.  Truth exists absolutely 
and infinitely.  We evolving beings grow in our capacity for it, but it is 
ever our encompassing.  It literally holds us, as God.  If you will, it is 
the “it-ness” of Him.

Student:  Hmmm…  I can’t wait to read that.  (laughter—Mother Spirit too)  
Because I think I only got a little bit of that, but…  OK.

I have two more things.  One, I was just thinking of about Jesus, and that 
if Jesus were here by my side, or face to face--since He is the embodiment 
of truth, and love, and all that God is, what would He see in me?  And what 
would I be open to receive from Him?  Because He sees everything I am…

NEBADONIA:  This is also something, My son, you have to grow towards.  You 
have to grow towards who you are because, as We have been teaching, only a 
very tiny part of your own soul is available to you in your present physical 
condition.  The fullness of it awaits the next phase of your life to become 
more possible of conscious awareness.  The saving grace of your present 
physical human condition is that if your are open to it, your own growing 
soul can augment the value of your life—to you--more and more.

Let Me further add in our philosophical discussion here, people often 
forget, and create a duality between God and reality.  They think of reality 
as “it,” whereas God remains the summation of personal reality.  God is 
literally the person-hood, the personality within reality, yet the 
impersonal aspect, the non-spiritual part of reality—what you think of as 
matter/energy—is however itself a creation of the personal God, and responds 
absolutely to His will.  And so truth can seem like an “it,” yet it is 
simply God’s living nature.  I hope that clarifies that point.

Student:  Yes, it does!  It’s so good—(laughing)--I’m really drinking this 
up.

Now this is more personal.  I sometimes feel in my relationship with (Name)… 
she’s said I’m not getting her.  Maybe I’m failing her.  I know that’s a 
judgement, but that’s what it feels like sometimes.  I’m not able, in her 
words, to totally support her.  And I don’t know if I can, if I have the 
means to do that.  So our relationship is changing.  She’s in the process of 
finding a place to live with her boys, and You know how long this process 
has been going on.  So I’m kind-of in this place of waiting for her to move 
out, finding a place.  With her progress is slow, and I’m wanting to move 
on.  So there’s also the sense of impatience on my part; but I also have to 
honor where she is.  Yet maybe I don’t know what that is—so it saddens me.  
I feel I haven’t fully taken her in, and there’s a loss with that.

NEBADONIA:  My son, keep in mind that this infinity that another person is 
can never be entirely known.  It is impossible to take another in fully, 
because that implies some kind of ability that is only God’s.  Here again we 
are looking at a difference between doubting yourself and questioning 
yourself.  Taking another person in is a thing you strive towards, and you 
can usefully question ways in which to do this better, or try to understand 
ways you may have done it better in the past; although the past is fixed in 
the sense it is no longer amenable to change.  The past has to be respected 
for the irrevocable nature of it.  So we are addressing the self-doubt part 
here.  I’m letting you know there is a limit to what you can know of 
another, and this is that very freedom we’ve talked about--granting other 
people their infinity, and not rather arrogantly assuming that you have 
totally fathomed them, and so can act in a capricious or absolute manner 
towards them.  Cherish your own wisdom that lets you accept that fact that 
you have not taken another person in—completely.  For in doing so you are 
avoiding the far greater error of the illusion that you have.

Student:  I really understand that.  And when she says I don’t support her 
enough, I’m thinking maybe it’s beyond human ability to do so.  I can’t 
support another’s illusions, or irrationality, or dysfunctional behavior; 
but I can support and honor another’s soul, and their growth, and their 
integrity.  And I think I’ve done that—with her.  Maybe she needs to go 
within herself, and find God within herself, for support.  Ultimately.

NEBADONIA:  These are good questions you are asking yourself.  I can only 
suggest you share them as much as you can with her.  These are intrinsic 
aspects of compatibility, so much a part of your system of values.  They are 
important to share.  Often couples get together, or separate, along these 
lines of whether or not they can share their values.  Neither is absolute, 
and accepting this non-absoluteness is difficult for some people, for they 
still have, not only arrogant and self-satisfied notions, but romantic 
notions too that everything can be shared and known.  Unfortunately—or 
fortunately, really--you are both too unfathomable for that.  But the hour 
is getting late, My son.

Student:  That is fine.  Thank You…  (much laughter)

NEBADONIA:  You are very welcome.  I’ve definitely given you something to 
think about, and study--whenever C and J get it out there.

Student (laughing): I hope You’ve enjoyed this adventure!

NEBADONIA:  Oh, I have—very much, very much.  I think you know you’re in My 
love.

Well boys, let’s wrap this up.  It has been quite an adventure this evening. 
  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it.  You really have taken to heart what I chose 
to talk about.  It’s a delight to have My children question Me, and then be 
so open, and entertain what I have to offer.  Neither Michael nor I desire 
any kind of blind belief or faith.  Rather, We invite you to question Us as 
you question yourselves, and each other.  At the same time, trust in your 
perception of Our presence, for as you are finding out, spirit is most 
ungraspable.  You cannot literally possess it as you do a physical fact or 
mental meaning, but you can very validly be possessed by it, and feel its 
love right down into every cell of your body.  Spirit is the source of the 
facts and the meaning you find in your life.  And so We worship and thank 
Him--He who is spirit!  Be in My love.  Good evening.


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