[tmtranscripts] Welmek, May 30, 2002

[Donna DIngillo]

WELMEK - DISAPPOINTMENT
MAY 30, 2002

Good evening. This is your friend and teacher Welmek.  I have a
challenging evening for you if you are so willing to engage with me
tonight.   

If you have followed the thread of the lessons over the past several
months, we have discussed in depth doing the Father's will, what it means
to be happy, how to live in faith, how to motivate trust to find that
hope for the future.  And now, I hope that you have gathered a knowledge
base of these workings of the spirit within your life to go with me, even
deeper now, into the place within the human heart, and that is a place of
disappointment.  Are you ready to go with me there tonight?  (All say
yes!)

Human life is filled with disappointment - from the trivial matters of
superficiality to those crushing blows where you question your very
reason for living.  Deep pain caused by these defeats of the soul, you
would call them, are all a part of daily life here on Urantia.  And in my
encounters with my human brethren, there is not one person who has not in
some fashion or form dealt with this.  And so I ask you my friends, are
you ready to go there?  Are you willing to walk through the muck and the
mire within you and find that place of disappointment, and sharing that
with me tonight, where I can help you find your way out; help you find
the relief that will release you from this crushing spiritual burden that
is not yours to bear in life alone.  Is this something you are interested
in doing this evening?  (All say an emphatic yes!)

This may not be easy, and I am not trivializing this.  But I ask you now
to be honest with yourself and go to that place where you have faced a
dark night of the soul.  And when you are there, I want you to call out
for Jesus and ask him to throw you the lifeline.  And take a few moments
to do this.  (Long pause.)

If you have envisioned this lifeline, tie it around you.  See if you can
feel yourself being firmly tethered within this lifeline.  (Pause.)  And
now call upon Jesus to lift you out. (Pause.)  In this experience was it
possible for you to gain a sense of being rescued?  

Student:  I was unable to properly conduct the exercise.  

Student:  Welmek, for me it was recalling the tense six months of being
half insane, and really to a point of being awake, for days and nights on
end.  And I just simply asked the Thought Adjuster at that time to help. 
So I could know what I am doing and make the decisions necessary.  And it
was there!  

Welmek:  C, would you be willing to share with me what you did
experience, if anything, in this exercise?

Student:  My body tensions were distracting.  I had difficulty
visualizing what my disappointment or despair looked like, and what Jesus
looked like, and what the lifeline looked like.  And I wasn't sure where
I was being rescued to.  And I wasn't sure what that disappointment
looked like, although I'm going through a very trying time now, so it
seems like that should have been more easy for me to be in touch with,
but for some reason just now, it's not.  

Welmek:  I find it interesting that you use the words "I didn't know what
that looked like."  For inasmuch as this is an exercise of using your
imagination, it is also about experiencing something very real and a
feeling awareness within you of what that feels like instead of what that
looks like.  

Disappointment is not a visual image; it is a feeling experience.  It is
a sense of defeat or dejection, dashed expectation. And so, as you say,
in going through the trying experience that you are; what may have
circumvented that awareness is the idea of what disappointment is rather
than the experience of being disappointed.  And what I would have asked
and hoped and sought your participation was in the experience of being
disappointed.  And I understand that this is difficult.

Student:  It's very present in my life to a nearly overwhelming degree,
at times.  I'm disappointed with myself.  I feel betrayed by a loved one.
 There's lots going on.  I guess I'm afraid of going there, in the sense
that I found myself even emotional to the point of tears over these
issues.  And I prefer not to go there now, to that deep sense of
disappointment.  It connects with a feeling of loneliness, isolation.  

Welmek:  I understand.  And this is why I suggested that this evening's
lesson would be difficult.  The human heart was not designed to harbor
these crushing feelings, it was designed to live in a state of joy and
peace and love. And so, when the heart is heavy with these burdens there
must come a point in time within the mind and strivings of the human soul
to release the heart from this captivity and to let it sing within the
sun of the Father's love, to bask in this warmth and to rejoice in the
glory in the song of light.  

And so to you my friend, I say do not let your fear of feeling the pain
of disappointment and loneliness prevent you from releasing your heart
from this bondage.  For it is by going to that place within your heart
where all those dashed dreams reside and saying, "I want no more of
this." And by letting yourself experience that, and calling out for help,
you are activating that lifeline that Jesus automatically extends to you
and says, "Here you are my child - grab - hold on, I will pull you out." 
And in that moment of connection, you are lifted out of your misery and
planted firmly on spiritual soil, and it begins to fill the places in the
heart with light and love and acceptance and connection, and banishes
forever this feeling of spiritual isolation and darkness.  This is not a
conceptual exercise as much as it is a living experience of actively
calling out for Jesus and asking Him to save you.  Do you have any
comments or questions on this idea?  

Student:  No.  I feel like I've been on a roller coaster of emotions and
that I am receiving a difficult lesson that will result in me being more
evolved.  And I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel,
so to speak, that I am making it through this difficult time and finding
happiness within, and a connection with a higher source of happiness, and
to expect to find it from others or from material situations.  And I
appreciate your words of truth and perhaps I can call upon Jesus for
help.  This is a new concept for me at this time for this situation,
although I have done it in the past; I've called out for help without
asking for Jesus specifically, and it was during transformative times in
my life.  So I feel your words are true and helpful.  Are there any other
practices or ways for me to connected, you might share with me?  I would
appreciate it.  Although you've given me enough tools already, I'm sure.

Welmek:  It is a matter of finding the right tool for the right project;
the correct use.  I would say that when you ask for help from Christ
Michael, Jesus, who lived on this planet as the divine being who had
human experience, you are availing yourself of the one who had the full
awareness of human disappointment and can truly empathize with all that
you go through in your own walk of life.  He has the power, my friend, to
lift you out of your despair.  This is His innate function in human life.
 And the relationship that you have with Him, whether or not you have
fully acknowledged it as that of father, brother, savior, path forger,
and you are the child, brother, student.  It is a multifunctional
relationship, and you are relating to Jesus in many ways that feed your
highest good.  

It is very important in human life to come to know the full range of
personality relationship that you share with this wonderful friend,
counselor, and the One who loves you most devotedly.  The personal
relationship that you share with Jesus is one that will comfort you for
days and years to come.  He is the source of your comfort in human
relationships, and there is no problem that you cannot take to Him that
He will not fully understand.  In Him you have divine mercy combined with
human empathy.  There is nothing greater than this and you can experience
it in human understanding.

So I encourage you to ponder this - the ability to have the relationship
now - and to use this more fully to your advantage, to overcome these
deep, deep levels of isolation and disappointment that you feel within
you.  He will actually pick you up and put you on the path of light and
life, and all things good will follow.  Do you understand?

Student:  Yes, with a question about how I can experience that connection
with Him.  How am I to perceive His presence?  My five senses don't seem
adequate, I suppose?   I think it would be a feeling or a visualization? 


Welmek:  I cannot say how He will reveal himself to you.  What is your
part of the relationship is to ask to know Him in a new and dynamic way
that will speak to deepest part of your soul.  So in your prayer you
might ask Him and say, "Jesus, I have not had a full and deeply
satisfying revelation of who you are and what you mean in my life, and I
am interested, and I am willing.  And I want to know you.  So I ask you
know, I invite You into my being and ask you to reveal yourself to me.  I
am ready to receive."  And that is all you need to do.  But you must
infuse your request with sincerity and honesty that this is what you
wish.  And come to Him with the openness of faith and let Him respond. 
Does this help?  (Yes, very much.  Thank you.)  I am honored to be able
to bring these words to you this evening.  Does anyone have other
comments about their exercise and experience?  

Student:  I would like to pass for the moment.  

Student:  Yes, Welmek. It didn't take long for me to experience the
feeling of disappointment or despair because of what I have experienced
not so long ago for five or six months.  It's still a little raw in me. 
But also it seems like over the past year and a half I've been
experiencing challenge upon challenge.  And it seems like yesterday I had
enough of it all, in that I'm tired of people's irresponsibility and lack
of perception, and their lack of responsibility affects me.  And I just
said I've had enough of all of this.  It's not fair!  It's not right!  

And now my daughter's experiencing a very challenging episode in her
life, as you well know.  And I'm deeply disappointed with her mother for
not helping her with this situation.  But I'm there for my daughter, as
you know, she is pregnant, and she's only sixteen years old.  But I love
her very, very dearly!  So, for awhile, there I was at a quandary of how
to react to all this.  But I remember our conversation about increasing
my capacity to love.  And I do love my daughter with all my heart and
soul.  So, I'm not disappointed in her, I'm just there for her, just
another challenge in my life, and her life as well.  

Welmek:  I would say that as you grow in your spiritual fragrance, every
drop of fragrance will be extracted from you, from your human
associations to the point where you will at times feel there is nothing
left to give.  And so what is it that you do?  You ask the Father to
increase your capacity, to extend your capabilities to give out more love
through your intake of spiritual sustenance.  And in these times when
people try your patience, you go to that place within you that is empty
and say, "Father, fill me with understanding.  Fill me with compassion. 
Fill me with tolerance."  For this is the time when the Father will then
lift you to the place where you receive all that you need to replenish
yourself, to see the perspective from His eyes, and to nourish your soul
to meet the obligations and challenges placed in front of you.  All of
your life will be in this exchange, especially since you have asked to be
a vessel of the Fathers' love.  

Your life's circumstances may not actually become easier, on the
contrary, I would say that they will become more challenging. But your
capacity to handle them and to stay connected and buoyant and light of
heart, will increase the more you seek this, and seek to master this to
overcome the disappointments with understanding and courage and faith,
and most of all, the love that the Father bestows to you.  And you simply
tap into that and allow Him to say, "This is mine and I give it to you." 


Go into those places that have been drained of the spirit and ask the
Father to feed you.  And if you need an enlarged understanding of these
difficulties, you can certainly turn to the mind of Jesus and ask Him to
fill you with how He handled these trying circumstances in His life.  For
His patience was tested as He dealt with a vast array of difficult
personalities, both intimately and distantly.  And so you have more than
adequate help at hand.  It is a matter of asking to be replenished, and
not to stay too long in the place of self pity, but to acknowledge that
when the self pity does come out, to use that as a reminder that you are
tapped out, and to go to your source of strength and comfort.  Does this
help?

Student:  Yeah, that makes very much sense, because I sensed that
yesterday, when I felt that weakening within myself, tiredness, then I
knew that, in a sense, neglected my soul and that I needed to take care
of that, in stillness, and change my attitude as well!  And, the same
thing, I remembered during the weekend when I was driving home from my
friend's house, and I was late and I kind of just started crying because
I just wanted to live in truth.  And I wanted to experience the mind of
Jesus as my own, because His mind is my mind, Christ Consciousness.  And
to love as Jesus loves, and that's all I want!  I do want, obviously
material things, I want to live financially independent and things like
that, but I also understand, for me it's like, seek Heaven within, and
love all things.  Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, then all things will
come unto me.  That's always been my credo.

Welmek:  And so I would encourage you to think about the words that you
spoke a few moments earlier about replenishing your soul.  And to make
that the first sustenance you seek.  Just as you need food for you body,
you need food for your soul, and that is the time of stillness, communion
with the Father, communion with all the spiritual presences within you,
and being re-nourished, regenerated, reconnected.  Seek first this
spiritual soul refreshment and life will become much easier to bear. 
(Thank you.) 

Student:  Welmek, these last few minutes, just being with you and C. and
D., I've pretty much re-lived this six months in purgatory and realized
why I closed the lid on it for awhile because of the complexity of this
relationship, was such that, its like a big knot that you can't pick a
thread anywhere.  But I've heard what you've told, shared with C. and D.
and without getting into that complexity, I'd just like to share with you
my deepest treasure and gem out of that time.  

The truth that can save us, that we recognize, maybe with a little of
that Spirit of Truth that Jesus put in our heart, is hiding behind pain. 
And the only way to get there is to loose our fear of feeling the pain! 
And in the feeling of that pain, truth arrives.  (Tape ends.)  …. The
saving grace is that we are somehow deciding and choosing everything that
is happening to us.  And we are free.  As you just reminded me, it's when
you say Jesus I want this to stop!  Please help.

Welmek:  My brother, I acknowledge that which you have learned.  You have
gained a great treasure in that experience.  

The fear response is a great component of the animal nature, but the
human nature is also infused with courage that can plunge you into the
depths; to be in that deepest and darkest of all fears, and to pierce
right through it into the light of truth.  This lesson that you so
touchingly experienced, exemplifies the spiritual fortitude that is
necessary to accomplish this and in liberating yourself.  I daresay that
each of you has the capacity to do this.  You are not alone.  You have
the spiritual lifeline and it is unassailable, you cannot break this.  It
will pull you through to find that place of safety and security, and
above all - freedom - life in the spirit. This is the promise that Jesus
made when He said, " I am the Way, the Truth, the Life."  It is up to you
to ask for your courage to be activated now, to take you to that place
where He can be with you and free you into the life and the light of
spirit - spiritual freedom.  

Do you want this?  Do you crave this?  Is this your sole purpose of
living?  I ask you to think about this in the days to come.  Where are
your priorities in living?  If you make this your priority, my friends, I
guarantee that you will find a life more full and more real and more rich
and more satisfying than you could imagine.  Challenge yourselves. 
Embolden yourselves.  Empower yourselves.  You have everything within you
and without you to do this.  How much do you want this?  The choice is
yours.  Are there any other comments or questions before we conclude?  

Student:  Yes Welmek, this is D.  What I alluded to you earlier about my
daughter.  What is the best thing for her to do right now?  And I realize
you may not answer this, that the decision is up to her and up to us, you
know, to either carry through with the pregnancy and birth of a child, or
to terminate the pregnancy.  It's a very difficult question to answer.  I
just wish to know the spiritual ramifications of such a decision.  And
also, for her, the consequences, spiritually and psychically?  

Welmek:  Spend time in prayer with her, and asking for wisdom that you be
given a broader depiction of the consequences of each option presented
before you.  And not just on a material level, but on an emotional and
spiritual level as well.  This is a challenging undertaking, and it is
not one that you can just make in a day or so.  And when you have choices
that are constrained by material limitations, you are under somewhat more
mental pressure, and this is not a good place of mind to be when seeking
spiritual guidance.  

So I would caution you to remind your daughter that any decision made in
haste can have difficult ramifications for her later in life, and to take
a deep breath and to relax and to ask for the highest good for all
people, yourself, her child, and the child's father to come into play. 
Spend time as a family in prayer.  And spend time with the young man's
family, if you can, in prayer in seeking the Divine Mind to do the Divine
Will.  You have a challenge before you, my friend, and I encourage you to
turn to your community of faith for their sustenance as well.  Does this
help?  

Student:  Yeah, I know there is a little apprehension within me, because
I'm uncertain of how things will unfold.  I just don't know what to do
for all concerned.  

Welmek:  This is not your decision to make in the final outcome.  It is
true that you do have a moral and financial responsibility for your
daughter, but this is her life.  This is her body.  This is her child. 
This is her decision to make.  The best you can do for her is to pray
with her, counsel her based on your highest spiritual awareness, and pray
that the love of Michael and Mother to comfort and guide your daughter in
the coming days. These are difficult experiences for young people who are
not equipped to handle the responsibilities of parental life.  And so we
understand, but know that, as long as her decision is made with the
intention to do the highest good, that is all the Father ever asks. Even
though human judgement may be fallible in its decisions, if the heart
does strive to do the best, then there is no judgement.  And all things
will work to the highest good in time.  So take a deep breath, my friend,
and join hands with Michael who will walk with you through this time. 

My friends, there is One who knows all of the trouble and disappointments
of life.  And there is nothing, and no place, and no experience that our
Master cannot and will not share with you.  So give Him you burdens. 
Give them all to Him, and take His yoke, for it is light and life and
love and joy.  Exchange your yoke for His, and walk side by side with Him
as He shows you how to master all of life, and to walk with joy and love
and lightness in your heart.  Good evening.