[tmtranscripts] Spokane/2 - AARON on Anger

[ZooidODell at aol.com]

THOROAH:    It's like tag team wresting here.
AARON:      It's like brothers everywhere.  

I'm not fully responsibility for the murmurings in the gallery today but we 
all rather stirred when we heard Paulo say you had to look at it now as an 
adult rather than a child, only because we are so sensitive to your need to 
be able to develop the personality from the position of childlike faith.  So 
the clarifier, to clean up after Paulo, is only to point out the refinements 
of childlikeness as compared to child.

You are not children.  You are adults, for the most part.  With childlike 
faith, yes.  This constitutes a different configuration than the four or five 
or six year old child whose mind is fresh and vulnerable to impressions, even 
erroneous and incorrect and harmful impressions, of its imperfect adult 
environment, but inasmuch as that is when the mind is seized with the idea, 
that is when the idea is fixed in the mind.  And so now it's necessary to 
return to the heart of that child, with the mind of the adult that can see 
from an adult's perspective, how imperfect the adult material world is and 
can be, in order to correct that child's way of thinking, in order to 
apologize to the child for its boorishness and imperfection.  

And thus when the child – yes, go ahead, call it the "child within" if you 
want to – when the child then is relieved of that onerous burden of imperfect 
perception, the adult can nurture this inner child into an appropriate 
learning that includes a God-conscious, adult perception, and thus the 
personality of the inner child is allowed to begin to grow anew, with the new 
perception brought about by a more mature vantage point than the vantage 
point unceremoniously thrust upon it by unthinking adults and unfortunate 
life circumstances in its youth.

In this way a personality can become well-balanced.  By reviewing its 
perceptions.  How they came to believe in a certain way.  Why they feel such 
onerous responsibility in some cases and so blase in other cases.  You have 
your work cut out for you, all of you.  And why do you think we are so 
persistent in our attentions?  We want you to grow up to be strong and 
healthy children.  We don't want you walking around handicapped and maimed 
any more than you want to be.

Well, let's get on with the other question, then, while I'm around to talk 
about it.  What is it?

THOROAH: It's about anger.  She says, "I also know that I have avoided 
expressing ‘anger' in a typical angry response ... punching, trashing things 
out, yelling, screaming, etc.  I dislike anger and for just cause as the UB 
and the Bible indiate that ‘anger is like a stone hurled at a hornet's nest'. 
 There appears, according to the Teachings, no good to come from anger.  
Sometimes I'm afraid if I alow myself to be angry in the ‘typical' responses, 
I won't be able to ‘control' myself, so I don't even let myself go there.  
Could you ask if there is a way to handle suppressed anger that would not get 
the nornets aroused?  I have failed (except to cry profusely) to understand 
how to accomplish this task."

AARON: Let me point out to you that perceptions and imperceptions being the 
topic of the day, it would seem you have been given some erroneous 
information as regards to anger.  I ask you: Did Michael instill in you an 
emotion that would not serve to strengthen you in some way, even if only to 
choose between a wise use or an ill-advised use of it?  Like envy.  Envy is 
an unpleasant emotion and yet it will indicate to you what it is you desire.  
And jealousy is another awful feeling and can consume love and maim it, but 
it will indicate a driving passion.  What do you think anger is trying to 
tell you?  Anger is indeed a message.  It's how you deal with anger that is 
important.

Even Jesus became angry.  Remember the famous story about upturning the 
tables of the money changers in the temple and releasing the sacrificial 
animals?  This resulted in mayhem that took a full day to settle down!  Thus 
you need to look at anger and appreciate it for what it is, and when they 
talk about throwing a stone into a hornet's nest, that is unbridled anger 
indeed and it is immature indeed for an adult creature of the realm, 
especially a God-conscious son of God to indulge in such a display, for the 
effects can be devastating, even permanent.  You are concerned about just 
that when you fear that your anger will take over, as if it were a fire that 
could not be squelched, that burned an entire forest.  You fear your own 
rage.  And indeed rage is a forest fire of anger.  But to deny anger is 
inviting a holistic eruption of the personality.  So let's discuss what to do 
with anger.

Anger is very effective when it is used wisely.  Like fire is very effective 
when used wisely, it can keep you warm in the winter.  Anger can be managed 
by altering your perceptions initially of what triggers such a reaction, and 
assuming your anger is normal anger and not aberrated anger, it can be 
unloaded by venting, and this is a form of therapy much like the primal 
scream or a good stressful exercise; it gets rid of the excess so that you 
can deal with the substance.  If you need to vent, invite a friend to monitor 
your anger and you might find that a witness either diffuses or enhances your 
performance, but it will get it off your chest and once it's contained, you 
can manage it maturely.

Sometimes it indicates an injustice that you can become the champion of 
because you have recognized how and why and to what extent it makes you 
angry.  You can write to your legislator or your congressman or your city 
councilman about something that makes you mad and maybe you'll get results, 
but if you don't care one way or the other, it wouldn't make any sense to 
even bother writing the letter.  

Sometimes when you have just the right firmness in your voice that indicates 
that you are not pleased with the performance, the rating, the quality, the 
substance or whatever you are offering a standard at is not unreasonable to 
be expected and you are requesting a reasonable response.  Maybe you want 
your money back, maybe you want to cancel the policy; maybe you expect an 
apology, but this is a form of communication that is not unreasonable; it is 
only dangerous and damaging when it is so emotional and so volatile than an 
entire forest is endangered by your spark.

THOROAH: I found that part of being able to express myself in moments of 
anger, the anger somehow brings up my thinking synapse goes awry, I cannot 
formulate thoughts in order to rationally express my anger, so that the idea 
of venting, as in practicing expression of anger, is very interesting.

AARON: It's gracious of you to practice your anger before it is unleased, but 
it behooves you to inform any witnesses of your practice.  In other words, if 
you're going to vent, advise your fellows, "I'm going to vent now," and in 
this way they will be able to observe your performance and not take it 
personally; otherwise they may feel inflicted and become defensive in the 
process of your expressing your dissatisfaction with some of life's 
vicissitudes.  

THOROAH: It's like a snowball rolling down hill because of my experience as a 
youth, my Dad's anger (and I will call them temper tantrums, behaving like an 
uncontrollable child) – I was affected by those, and it makes you first of 
all defensive.  What we talked about earlier, the fact that you're even there 
makes you feel somewhat responsible, and then what you learn is you learn the 
offense of it.  You learn how to – I mean, it becomes a part of your whole 
operation, just from those early impressions that you get, so that half the 
time you don't know if you're being angry because you're being defensive 
yourself, or whether someone actually did make you angry justifiably.

AARON: It's a mistake to tell children not to become angry.  The 
responsibility is to teach them how to handle their anger.  Anger is a 
natural enough emotion.  And like all emotions, it is affected by the mental 
construct.  Like little girls in your culture are taught not to get angry, 
that it's unladylike to stamp their foot; but for some reason it's okay for 
boys to become angry and be boys, even to fisticuffs, but not to be angry 
with their Aunt Ellen or their little sister.  It gives kids mixed messages, 
like - this kind of anger is okay but that kind of anger isn't.  

Anger is just anger.  It's your behavior that is the issue.  How your 
behavior then affects you and your relationships with other people. Or how 
your anger affects other people, therefore your relationships.  Go back to 
what it was you learned about anger and take your adult with you and look at 
it as an adult, even as a wounded child needs to be appeased and pacified in 
its sobbing response to a parental temper tantrum which is okay for the 
grownup but not okay for the kid.  That's the kind of injustice that will 
cripple a personality.  That's the kind of error in upbringing Our Father 
would have us correct.  

It's an onerous responsibility, I understand that.  It's a beginning, 
however.  If you learn it, you have something new then to pass on because of 
your awareness of how it is that your behavior affects other people, how you 
yourself can alter the course of destiny, how you in your quiet way can 
emulate the Master as he passed by.  

I'm going to spend the rest of the week in the day care center.  There are a 
lot of little kids here who need to learn how to play, who have been 
misinformed about a lot of things, and who love to have their back scratched, 
their hair brushed, their ears caressed by being told beautiful stories of 
happy endings, and who enjoy singing and playing and walking tall and not 
feeling that the responsibility of the universe is on their little shoulders. 
 Okay, I'm outta here!

PAULO: And I'm back.  Thank you.  This is Paulo again.  Are there any other 
matters that you'd like to bring up while we're on-line and on point?  

THOROAH: I think that was a good lesson on perceptions and emotions.  That 
should do it.  It gives us much to think about.  I can't think of anything 
else at the moment.

PAULO:  Okay, kiddies.  Enjoy the manifestations of love this week.  Enjoy 
each other.  Happy Valentines Day.  See you soon.  Farewell.