[tmtranscripts] Pocatello Transcript 7-30-99

[Bill Kelly]

July 30, 1999

Aaron(Bill):   Greetings, my friends, I am Aaron, present with you this
evening and first in line to kick off our proceedings.  I will fulfill my
threat(laughter) and remind you that I explained that it is not my desire to
embarrass.  You seem to all be in jovial spirits and we teachers present are
also enjoying ourselves with each other but also along with you.  We felt
that your conversation regarding the meaning of the Teaching Mission in your
lives, which you elucidated to some extant, was interesting, for it does
give us feedback as to our effectiveness as your instructors.  Therefor, I
will offer some questions to individuals for the purpose of further
elucidation of the spiritual meanings and values which are uppermost in your
minds and hearts.  Of course, if you feel that a question that I might
present to you is unclear, I wish you to ask for clarification.  If my
question is too personal, you always can demure.  However, I doubt that
anyone is going to be feeling terribly uncomfortable and in this manner we
teachers can interact with you more as though we were visible to you as we
sit in your midst.  This is my prologue to our interactional time.  Are
there any questions before we begin?

Okay, hearing none, I will begin with you, PamElla, my dear.  If you would
share how you have reached conclusions in regards to your conflict of
interest around the Friday night schedule, I would appreciate that; and with
that question I wish to ask you if there are principles, perhaps, that your
brothers and sisters could learn from your process?  Is my question understood?

Nancy(PamElla): Yes, Aaron.  There are principles and there is a story.  I
have been in conflict for a long time with this; and the way I was trying to
resolve my conflict was my typical pattern, which was to try and make the
outer world change to suit me.  First, last Fall, I tried to get everyone to
change to Sunday, but that didn't work.   Then I tried to pressure Bob into
coming.  That didn't work It just caused more turmoil and I remained in a
lot of conflict about it; but I think I came to the point that I gave myself
permission to choose time with Bob and to make that choice for myself, to be
responsible to make the choice for myself rather than trying to change
circumstances and people to get rid of my conflict.  I accepted that it was
my conflict and that I had to make a decision about it.  I think I got
really clear about it in counseling sessions when we were discussing...Bob
and I had been going to relationship counseling and we were talking about my
conflict.  I was pretty much through it and I was saying that I might choose
to not go Friday nights.  Bob was feeling like I wouldn't really be choosing
, then if I did that I would resent him, which, again isn't a clear choice
because that would be being sacrificial, and resenting being sacrificial, so
it is like their choice.  He was also feeling like I should be coming here
because when our relationship started it was very clear that this was the
most important thing in life.  I never missed a Friday night meeting.  In my
relationship with Charles I didn't leave for Challis until after the
meeting, pulling in at one or two in the morning.  I turned to Bob and I
said, "No, if I make the choice it's my choice.  I can choose not to come on
any night".  In answering him I really got that it was my choice.  So if
there is a principle it is to own the responsibility of making the choices
in the circumstances rather than trying to pressure all those around you to
conform to what you would like them to do to get rid of your conflict.
There is the principle and the story.

Aaron(Bill): PamElla, my dear, I am overjoyed at the clarity of your
experience, for you have clearly illustrated something that is dimly
understood at best on this planet, and that is...the amount of control that
a person truly has in their free will choices.  When mortals can begin to
accept that they are not victims of circumstances, they are not bound by the
past, whatever that may contain, but are free in the moment to make new
choices, then, indeed will a major element of the transformation of this
world be in process.  I commend you, my dear.

Nancy/PamElla: Thank you.

Aaron(Bill): Kenneth..

Ken: Sir! (Laughter)

Aaron: You know that we jest together and I have a great fondness for you.
I sense your truly paternal feelings for other group members and I respect
your leadership in that role.  I would ask you this question.  How has your
understanding of "sharing" changed as a result of being involved with this
group?  Am I confusing you?

Ken: My understanding of the sharing, how it has evolved in the group?

Aaron: No, how you feel about it as a result of the evolution of process
that you have been a part of.
You may refer to your perceptions of the group, of course.  But I wish you
to share, if you will, your feelings about it.

Ken: My sharing within the group?

Aaron: Your feelings about the whole concept of sharing.  You have expressed
yourself before on occasion  I am asking you for an update..

Ken: Personally, sharing has been a great lesson in patience for me!  As I
look at the concept of sharing, whether it is in this group or in whatever,
it is like a family.  Each individual learns and earns respect of all the
others to him, the sharing family.  It brings us more intimately together.
It improves, it grows our relationships with one another, hence, the
Father's will.

Aaron: I thank you for succinctly touching on the most potentially powerful
aspect of sharing in your wisdom, that this is indeed a family experience.
You are all more and more aware of your essential spiritual  unity despite
all the many differences in experiences, in prejudices, in expectations, and
in personalities.  I and the others of us whom you cannot see can observe
the true intimacy which is moving forward, sometimes faltering backward, but
essentially increasing as your time together continues.  I also observe that
your relationships sometimes take on alterations of character.  Some of you
become more outspoken.  Others become more quiescent.  Sometimes one person
takes more leadership and another time the leadership is diffused in
different manners.  This is healthy, for if you were a dysfunctional group
your relationships would be rigid, superficial, characterized by tension and
power struggles and lacking totally in joy.  So, you see, you are a living
organism of interactions.  Sharing is what you do both with your words and
your actions.  And, I would add, even with your thoughts.

Ken: Thank you Aaron.

Aaron: You are welcome, Ken.  Bob Schrieber, may I interact with you?

Bob: Fire away.

Aaron: As you know, we have had a lot of interaction over the past several
years.  For the benefit of others in this group, would you be willing to
tell us the value that you have seen in a personal relationship between
yourself and a teacher?  It doesn't have to be me, necessarily.  What is the
flavor of such a relationship?

Bob S.: That's a good question!  I haven't really thought about that.  I
certainly have had a lot of experiences.

Aaron: Would you prefer some time while I visit with another before you
respond or do you want to ponder at this moment?

Ken: Co'mon Bob, off the cuff, off the cuff.

Bob: (unintelligable)....where are you!!(laughter) I'm not sure where that
all goes but I am sure it'll all come together, it always does.  Having a
personal teacher was something I sought and found out I had one.  But it
didn't really seem like it was very new; it seemed like this relationship I
had I knew was there but didn't know was there.  It was a part of me, but
out of my consciousness.  I then had a series of personal teachers.  I
didn't know what to make of that.  I made light of it, of course, and said,
well, they gave up.  (More laughter)

Aaron(Bill): I am aware that you were slightly touched with hurt as though
you had been left.

Bob: I didn't really feel that I was left in the lurch so much as I had
never heard of anyone else who had lost their teachers...what was going on
with me??  Was I different?  I though I was the same as everyone else.  But
over time I came to accept their reasons which always were that another
person, another teacher was more able to assist me at the particular point
in my development.  That seemed to make sense.  

The emotional reaction, how I felt about that is very difficult for me for I
don't do emotion well.  I don't understand..I don't....

Aaron: That is the reason I am pressing the question.

Bob: Thanks a lot(sarcastically) But I have been struggling with that and I
know that is a part of me that needs to be addressed.  But it is foreign, so
it takes conscious effort to do that.  It doesn't flow like many things do
in one's life.

Aaron: You see, you are not alone in this experience of not recognizing your
feelings and emotions easily.  Many people learned very early in life that
their expression of feelings was dangerous.  It caused unpredictable
consequences when they were in a state of relative helplessness and so to
protect themselves against desertion or abandonment by significant
caregivers such as parents many people learned as very young children to
disconnect themselves mentally so that their feelings would not result in
hazardous behaviors.  This disconnection is a neurological phenomenon which
can be reversed but is very difficult to achieve and takes a great deal of
time and effort.  The one thing I can tell you and anyone else who
experiences this..the feelings are still there.  They are an essential
aspect of your mindal inheritance.  They are transcending even material
reality for always is this aspect of mind your treasure.  You will,
eventually, if not in this life, then in the next, connect up again so that
you fully experience all that personality endowment entails.  I commend you
on your efforts and I thank you for struggling with this question, my
friend.  Your words will assist others.  (Bob appears overcome with emotion
and struggles to speak)

Nancy: Aaron, may I interject here?

Aaron: Yes.

Nancy: Bob, I am experiencing a lot of emotion from you right now, and I can
name it for you, I think.  I am wondering if you are aware of emotion or am
I making it up?

Bob: I am not aware of it, but I would be interested in your analysis of it.

Nancy: Maybe if I tell you my reaction is to feel great sadness and there is
something in the set of your face and your eyes that spoke to me of sadness
as Aaron finished.   And the thought that went through my mind as I looked
at the set of your face and saw sadness was, "What a loss, to have lost
one's feelings for a great part of a lifetime."  So I felt sadness.  I think
I first saw it in your face.  But I may be putting my interpretation of what
I thought I saw.

Bob: Actually, I was feeling pretty good.(resounding laughter)

Nancy: Then I am totally out to lunch!!

Bob: I was thinking I was off the hook without having to really deal with
those emotions(more hysterical laughter) cause I didn't couldn't feel, I
couldn't really put a handle on those emotions that I felt in my
interactions with the three personages [ed. Note: personages are a reference
to three personal teachers].
But what Aaron said about that you don't really have to do that in this
life, if you don't get the job done you will get another crack at it, I felt
good about that because the way I am struggling with that issue it's
beginning to look like I ain't going to make it.  The fact that that won't
be lost was good news.  I felt good about that. I suspect, though, that you
are probably right because I have learned enough about one's emotions that
to not have them leaves a great void in life.  And I don't want to miss them
because I don't understand them.  I suspect that one would have to say what
you are saying, that not being able to feel those feelings leaves a great
gap, that can't help but be sadness for having missed all that.

Nancy: Yes, thank you.

Bob: My personal teacher says I am doing good. (Laughter)

Virginia: I say, wonderful, Bob!

Aaron: My opinion, PamElla is that to the degree that one has experienced a
similar situation in their lives, to that extent they can empathize with
other situations that would lead to the same emotional response, as in
sadness.  I tell you that there was within me a sadness that I experienced.
But I also had the knowledge and with it the hope and assurance that for Bob
or for any other mortal from any planet in the wide universe of universes,
all of these deficiencies are corrected.  Deficiencies are inherent in the
evolutionary universes of time and space, for we are creating through our
decisions, by our participation in our experiences, a reality of
perfectedness which shall eventually be complete.  This is an experience
that the perfect worlds of Havona can never know experientially.  Just as we
cannot know the experience of being created perfect neither can they know
the experience of struggling from the bottom all the way to the top to
achieve completion.  But we who will be perfected and they who are perfect
will attempt as much as possible to share our essential being with each
other.  This is a very vast subject which touches upon the completion of
Supremacy, the borderline of Ultimacy, and even the possibility of infinity
absoluteness.  Children, my friends, the future is incredible!  I tell you
that for I have already experienced it in part.  The most amazing and
wonderful things and experiences you have had as mortals are just the merest
whiff of the aroma of delicacy and richness of the cake of eternal life
which is baking even now in your souls.  I wish to rest a moment and ponder
one more question to one of you.  One moment please.

Daniel(Bob S.): This is Daniel.  While Aaron is considering his next
question I will interject this brief comment as an observer of this process
which you are undertaking this evening.  Those of us who had the experience
of a mortal life earlier in our evolution can identify keenly with the
emotions or lack of them, the feelings you are not having, being put on the
spot, so to speak.  Let me encourage you to relax.  Do not be stressed out.
Allow yourselves to be immersed in the experience and as your elder brother,
know that we know of the beneficialness of having gone through this
experience.  Aaron now tells me he is ready to proceed.

Aaron: Yes, thank you, Daniel for extending my one moment to several.  My
hesitation was not primarily due to my own lack of preparation or thought
regarding what I wanted to explore but was due to the intense pressure that
Isaac was feeling, as my connection with him was quite tense. LaRreen, would
you be willing to field a question?

LaReen: Surely.

Aaron:   Before I ask you to bear your soul I want to welcome you to this
part of the united Woods Cross/Pocatello teacher group.  We teachers are
always impressed and do honor Father Abraham and, in fact, he is in charge
of much that is connected with the Teaching Mission overall, as you know.
You are fortunate, indeed to be under his tutelage which I am sure you do
not disagree with.

I have observed that you are a leader from our southern branch in making
contact with other brothers and sisters, particularly in this group.  I
would ask you to share what this outreach has meant and means to you for I
think your words will uplift all of us.  Do you understand my question?

LaReen: I do, Aaron. Thank you.  It's an honor to be here under your
tutelage also.  It's funny I don't see myself as reaching out.  I feel like
I am in both families, for some reason.  I read Daniel's lessons and your
lessons and Abraham's and they just seem right to me.  I feel as home here
with this group as I do in Wood Cross.  The words ring true and always when
I would get these lessons at my home in Salt Lake I go to the mailbox and
read them the second I need them.  They are right there in my hands, the
words are there from this group.  It just feels natural to me.

Aaron: Thank you very much.  What you are expressing is that there is no
effort in experiencing essential brotherhood and sisterhood for you;
everywhere, at least within the Teaching Mission, is for you home and
comfortable; and that making connections as you have availed yourself of,
reading transcripts and lessons, all of this is as natural to you as
breathing and eating.  Do I understand you correctly?

LaReen: Yes.

Aaron: My friends, this is the life of those on planets of Light and Life.
Unlike your experience on this planet it is natural and normal to see
everyone as brother and sister, being conscious constantly of the overcare
of God the Father, God the Son, God the Spirit and the universe rulers.
Earlier there was mention made of which world is the real one, this world of
your experience in meetings like this, or the world of the animal striving,
which characterizes so much of the more visible aspects of your cultures.
Well, you know the answer.  This is the real world, evolving from within you
and touching everyone that you meet.  This Light and Life is spreading, and
not just between members of the so called Teaching Mission and the rest of
humanity, but in every heart that is the throne room of the Indweller, the
Fragment of the Father.  In every heart does the spiritual connection in
potential exist and flourish.  

Of course, human will remains supreme and each person must make their own
decisions.  I know all of you here have made that decision.  Just as a
snowball down a steep mountain gradually becomes larger until a critical
mass is reached that can result in an avalanche, so are you all marching
toward critical mass.  I thank you for putting up with me and my
questioning.  I hope you have all benefitted from this interchange.  I thank
you sincerely for your willingness to engage my probing.  I will now bow out
of our session and allow another, besides Daniel, who wishes to address you.
One moment.

Minearisa(Bill):  Good evening my dear students, I am Minearisa, your
resident Melchizedek    I am delighted to be given this opportunity once
again to speak with you.   I have observed the brightness of the light of
your morontia being, your eternal souls, as they are fraught with the
interaction of your minds and your immortal Spirit Indwellers.  You are all
in earnest about spiritual growth and I am most satisfied with the work of
Daniel, Tomas, Aaron and other personal teachers who have labored with you
over these many years.  

Many lessons you have listened to, pondered and attempted to apply to your
lives, and for the most part, successfully completed.  Your doubts about
spiritual reality come back, at times, to harass you but you know that your
knowledge of spiritual reality resides in your soul, for your soul is a part
of that reality.  Your mind arena...it is not of eternal nature.  It is only
temporary.  I am not saying that you should flee from honest examination of
your basis of faith, for your faith is not credulity, but is rather a trust
which has not been violated.  Your confidence in the everlasting arms of the
loving nature of the Deities has been verified for you and in numerous ways
over the years.  If you have not already achieved this confidence, you will
in time become so aware of the presence of God that you could no longer
doubt that loving presence any more than you could the reality of your
senses.  In a sense your knowledge of God is a sense, just as reliable as
sight, hearing, touch, etc.  

And so I do conclude our meeting now without permitting you the luxury of
asking us questions.  This was our night to ask you.  Please believe me when
I say it is a great honor and pleasure to be associated with souls so bright
and minds so strong and courageous.  Take care, friends.  Live in the
presence of God.  Good evening.