Transcript - Abraham - April 20, 1998, Wood Cross

[Karri Hummel]

Date Posted:		May 2, 1998
From:			Calvin Mckee
Group:			Woods Cross, UT TM Group
Transmission Date:	April 20, 1998
Subjects:		Turning Unhealthy Attachments into Helpful 
			Connections; 	Allowing Others Free Will
Teachers:		Abraham
TR: Nina

I am ABRAHAM.  Greetings to you my fellow travelers.  What a
beautiful discussion.  So productive in the fruits of the Spirit. 
This evening I would like to discuss more on turning unhealthy
attachments into helpful connections.

You my students, who have so long searched for things spiritual have
learned a great deal on human relationships.  You each are seeing
how no one mortal should be in complete control of all that is, even
so in our Teaching Mission.

No mortal sits at the helm of the station based here on Urantia.  It
is also true within your personal relationships--experiences.  No
one mortal should be able to dominate another, nor should one seek
to be dominated.
It behooves us to look upon many mortal relationships that could
have met with success, that there appeared to be such struggle over
conjoint destiny.  Each individual holds personal dreams and seeks
to fulfill those dreams through various means, and expect their
fellows to relinquish personal desires to partake in the success of
their dream fulfillment.  There are a great many mortals who strive
to have control over the lives of others.  You, my mortal friends,
know this can only meet with disappointment.

Even parents realize sooner or later that their children are unique
individuals destined to follow their own inner guidance, their own
path.  The good parent knows that to make demands upon a
growing--seeking child has been the cause of much rebellion.  The
good parent bestows Fatherly affection in that there is the bestowal
of freedom and allowance to make mistakes.  You would agree that you
cannot control individuals, nor be controlled by them.

This is in disagreement with our spiritual laws.

You would not find our Father in such manipulation of His children,
no.  The Father loves deeply each individuals unique personality. 
The desire to control individuals extinguishes their uniqueness. 
Father loves with free will and allows His children to come to Him. 
He would not force a child to embrace Him and His teachings, no. 
The forcing would be such a corruption of real love, true love.  It
is understandable to pressure those you love to embrace you and your
ideas.  This is basic animal desire, but to you--my fellow seekers,
understand that to bestow Fatherly affection enables others to soar
with your assistance. This is maintaining a healthful connection.

Our Father would find no purpose for our existence if He was able to
completely control us.  Without His bestowal of freewill, there is
only mechanistic over-control.  There is neither truth, beauty or
goodness in control of your personal relationships.  Do you see, you
need not do one thing to earn Father's love?  It is so.  You cannot
work to make a seat next to Him, no.  He loves you because you are.

My friends, we would assist you in having this for your own
relationships.  You must allow others their freewill experience, and
if this does not include you, then so be it.  The attempts to have
control in your relationships defies Father's spiritual laws.  To
transform your unhealthy attachments into healthful connections,
consider your efforts put forth to gain control.  Find a moment to
ponder the fear of loss.

To not release control in relationships is congruent with fear of
loss.  Ponder over how our attraction to Father begins with His
allowance of freewill.  What keeps you seeking for things spiritual?
 Would it be a controlling spiritual Father that continually
pressures you to find Him?

If time permits, discuss ways on how to be less controlling and more
growth promoting, bestowing Fatherly affection.  Have you questions?

ROLAND:
Abraham, in our relationships with our fellow mortals, more
specifically male\female, what characteristics of that relationship
would be good to understand and what purpose do these relationships
create other than the procreation of the race?  Can you help us with
that?

ABRAHAM:
Yes.  The male\female is possibly the most difficult relationship
mortals experience. Male\female relationships require the exercising
of unconditional love.  It is not so natural as in parent\child or
sibling love.  It is possible, but not without effort and hard work
on each part, to embrace a balance of humility and willingness to
accept one another's differences.  Unconditional love is sometimes
too high of a personal identity while seeking
for acceptance of their personal identities.  The male\female
relationship experience is necessary to soul experience, in that it
supplies so many spiritual realities and eternal concepts.  Our
Creator Parents are an excellent example of diverse personalities
incorporating unconditional love, love relationship for all mortals
to strive for.  Excellent question, my son Roland.

Another question?

ROLAND:
Thank you.  That was an excellent answer.  In relationships, it
seems to me that Jesus asked His apostles to forsake their families.
 They were young men, so some of them were newly married, some of
them had children.  He asked them to make sure they were provided
for, but to "follow Him."  My question today is.... is the ultimate
relationship to follow Jesus in our lives to get to a place where we
can forsake everything else, make that our primary relationship with
Michael?

ABRAHAM:
Yes.  Yes.  To have Father and our Co-Parents as the primary
relationship.  It is said that if you seek the Kingdom of God first
all else will be provided.  The apostles were asked to follow Jesus,
and that was the focus.  The focus was not to forsake your families,
but to follow Jesus.  Jesus did make sure all families were provided
for and well looked after.  The Master did not ask His apostles to
donate anymore of their lives than does your military require.  This
time was indeed short and the most of the men returned to carry on
their lives with their families better enlightened, better
enlightened to reveal these teachings to their families, to
succeeding generations.  Yes, the Master asks that you follow Him
and that is more our focus than to forsake families.  The real
ministry is to the family, to the growth and nurturing of succeeding
generations.  One more question.

CALVIN:
Abraham, on this relationship thing, we were talking in the lesson
last week about detachment of those who would interfere, I would
say, with our relationship in following the Master.  My question is,
are you saying... get away from them, or just to detach from their
continual nagging, so to speak?  Let the nagging go on and just keep
going on about you business anyway?

ABRAHAM:
Not so much a detachment, but a transformation of unhealthy
attachment, to healthful connection, to producing more spiritual
fruits within relationships, instead of making way for spiritual
poisons.  Detachment is meaning so many things.  Detachment is
almost a last resort.  Transformation is a good focus to have. 
Father would have us promote healing rather than flee from those who
drag us down.  Does this answer?

CALVIN:
Yes. I guess it goes along with "rolling up the sleeves."

ABRAHAM:
Yes.  My gratitude is with you each who also seek to learn these
spiritual lessons.  Your patience is admirable.  My love is with
you.  Until next week, shalom.